On Blue Dogs

The idea of a Blue Dog is a misnomer. There is no such thing as a blue dog, and there is no such thing as a conservative liberal. So how does the whole blue dog thing work anyway?

First, power is not ultimately derived from petitions and protests, but from winning elections. Second, to win elections the candidate must tell the people what they want to hear. So if you're a liberal running in a conservative district, you have to pretend to be a conservative. Once in office, that's where the real circus begins, for you must still act and look like something you're not.

So here's the drill. The votes on a particular bill are counted before they're cast. If there are enough to pass the liberal socialist bill by a decent margin, the party leadership goes to those who live in conservative districts, otherwise known as the Blue Dog Coalition, and gives them the number of votes that can be thrown away and still allow passage of the liberal legislation. These throw away votes are then wheeled and dealed like used cars in Cuba between Blue Dogs, because they know that come election day, the more they are able to hide their liberalism the better their chances of fending off real conservatives. Hence the only way to know where your politician really stands is to watch how he votes when every single vote counts. This is when the blue in your Blue Dog will light up like a Las Vegas Casino.