Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Please Help

One of my most prized possessions was kidnapped by what I fear to be a terrorist operative operating in the local area. To learn more about the specifics of this crime click here. I have been in negotiations with this militant for the release of said possession for some time now, all to no avail. If you have seen, heard, or know anything about this missing item please contact the CIA, the FBI, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the GBI , the IBP, FEMA ,or me. We are almost certain that this is a misguided attack on our nation by attacking President Obama and his shovel ready jobs program.

Your help, should you decide to lend it, will be much appreciated.


Mary Lee said...

Pay no attention to this crazy man's post. He is just trying to dig up some trouble...or maybe he is just troubled :)

Susan said...

What fun you guys have :o) I'd buy a shovel and return it for the coffee and longjohn with you two....oh well I can dream can't I?

Dan said...


Kathy was sitting here at the computer the other day and was saying "I just love Susan". We'll buy the longjohns and coffee. Just come on over. And we'll see if we can't get that shovel-napper over as well.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Mark Antony: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones.

Shovel: I feel so used.

Mark Antony: Silence! And keep digging.

Shovel: You will fail at this. No doubt my rescue is imminent, once the coffee has been secured.

Macbeth: If thou speak'st false, Upon the next tree shalt thou hang alive, Till famine cling thee!

Mark Antony: Fool! How dost thou afflict me with a resolution to hang a shovel from a tree? (And how did you get here so quickly from Scotland?)

Macbeth: Aye, them's fightin' words, lad! (Flew direct from Glasgow to Rome, lunkhead.)

[A fight breaks out. The shovel takes advantage of the melee and escapes unnoticed.]

Kathy said...

I gotta hand it to you BG, you know how to call a spade a spade. I say we lay our differences aside and get out the coffee and longjohns (with plenty of notice for Susan, and Sandra, and everyone else she should and could bring with her!)

Steve said...

This quite a hole you've dug for yourself, Dan.

But I think you can handle it.

Dan said...


That is so clever and funny. I had quite the chuckle reading it!

Stan said...

Shovel be hanged ... I'd show up for longjohns and coffee (as long as that wacko, Mark Antony, doesn't show up).

Timothy said...

I'm not sure what longjohns are, but I would let it go. It's not the nice of a shovel. This will give you an excuse to visit the local hardware store and buy a shovel with more power, and a better handle and blade. You might even find some coffee there, and some longjohns in your size.

Dan said...


Saturday's good but I can't make any promises about Mark Anthony. It's a dangerous world you know.


I just hope my shovel hasn't read your comment.

Stan said...

Timothy, your comment made me weep for you. "He doesn't know what a longjohn is?" The tragedy of it all. "Longjohn" is the original term for those donuts now called "bars", as in "maple bar" or the like. Of course, because "longjohn" was the original term, very clearly the original "longjohns" were far superior to the mass-produced QT version of the day. Sigh.

Dan said...

Truth be known Stan, until after I wrote this post I didn't know they were called long-johns. I, like Timothy, thought long-johns were what you wore when you went huntin in the winter. I definitely need to get out more and widen my culinary horizons.