Thursday, March 29, 2007

Men Loving Men

My best friend was getting married and I was the best man.  At the rehearsal banquet I gave the typical toast with a small speech. But there seemed an inaudible gasp as I proclaimed to all present that, if the newly weds loved each other as much as I loved [the groom], they would have a lasting and wonderful marriage. A short and awkward moment followed. even for the groom I think, but soon the drollery began, and it seemed to put everyone again at ease. Still, I meant them, and I was intent on expressing them.

Interestingly, this was while I was still in my pre-redeemed state. I had no basis at the time for thinking that homosexuality was a sin, but that didn't stop me from thinking it repulsive. Also, given my words were premeditated; it wasn't as if I hadn't considered what the reaction might be. But I couldn't help but believed that those reactions would quickly give way to contemplation of something so currently foreign in this overly sexualized world as one man’s deep love for another man.

Now however, as a Christian, I am very much at ease with the concept of loving another man, because within the context of Christianity it is normal and natural. What is not normal are the walls that men feel they need to erect lest they be thought “gay”. It has not always been taboo for men to share a bed, greet each other with a kiss, or to love one another. It has always, on the other hand, been decadent for two men to have sexual relations.

One of the real tragedies brought on by the normalization of homosexual relationships is the retardation of normal male relationships. When the attempt is made to force normality into something as intrinsically abnormal as homosexuality, it is folly to think that there will be no consequence. One of the first casualties of this social plow, uprooted with hardly any notice, was relationships between men.

The release of Brokeback Mountain was one of the more recent blows to masculine relationships. More tragically still, it wasn't as if one had to actually watch the movie to fall under its influence, for I’m convinced that few actually did see it. That's because the power of its influence didn’t come from its storyline.  Indeed, on that account it was just another love story. Its real power came from its presumed acceptance, exaggerated and magnified by the media. This of course gave way to the unforgettable pictures that permeated the checkout aisles, video stores and news stands, of two handsome young men inserting homosexuality into what had always been an iconic symbol of male masculinity, the American cowboy.  Nothing less would have done.

But worse than this is the brick and mortar this movie, and our brave new world, has provided to men for the building of their personal fortresses wherein they increasingly find themselves alone and isolated.


Douglas Groothuis said...

This essay brings out but another casuality of the sexual revolution: men showing appropriate heterosexual love to men. (Remember Jonathan and David in the OT.) I hadn't quite thought of it that way before.

Sharon said...

I say the Dictionary stays!

Anonymous said...

Sir ... you are in step with "The Prince of Peace." As a man attracted sexually to my own sex, I have to commend you on your very reasonable commentary on a modern social anathema. Now if only we can get more heterosexuals and more gays to at least be civil in their differing views, we'd all be better for it.

I am not a blogger, but I do write gay romance novels...
Steve Thomas

Tom said...

"Normal" male relationships have always included sexual relationships, just because you are uncomfortable with your sexuality doesn't make it not so. And unless you were uncomfortable with your own sexuality it would not matter to you at all what the relationships between other men are. The more I think about this it is apparent that you are a sad case. The fact that homosexuality is now rightly acceptable in most facets of society in your mind threatens your ability to have your delusional "love" relationships with other men without people thinking you're "gasp" gay! HAH! And hiding in some silly religion is an obvious trick. Come on out of the closet, you'll be okay.

Dan said...

Homosexuality has always been a sin. But Jesus died for all sinners, I being of the worst, when they repent.

Thanks Tom for dropping by my humble blog and taking the time to leave a comment. God bless.

Steven said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
keviin said...

I wish you love.

Being gay, you can still follow the golden rule.

There are so many good gay men and women.

There have been gay people for thousands of years.

God made us too. I hope you can learn to love yourself and you find someone to love you that you love, man or woman.