Saturday, May 11, 2013

You Must Connect The Dots. Here, I'll Help

Who is the left?  Put simply, it is a conglomerate of groups of people who have coalesced around one grievance or another.  "Everyone has a grievance", you say.  Well, true, but not everyone internalizes their grievance and turns it into a religion. Those who have, however, join with others and then become a giant conglomerate of victims that we call leftists, or Democrats.  Since left means more government control, it is only natural that leftist would love government, for government is the one entity that can make everything right.

There's only one problem.  Man's existence is imperfect.  He is fallen. He has been evicted from Eden.  That's why leftist are so angry.  They are not OK with it.  Their ultimate grievance, therefore, is with God.  That might explain why they never see an anti-God bandwagon that they're not willing to jump on.  See?  Connecting the dots.  Let's look at the prominent grievances of our day:

Environmentalism?  Did you ever wonder why so many rich people jump onto the we're-the-party-for-the-poor Democrat bandwagon?  Are there any multi-millionaire Hollywood types not riding this one?  They're as close to paradise as anyone's going to get, and yet, they look around and see all us nasty plebes messing it up.  Government to the rescue!  Connect the dots my friend.  Your job could be the next one that falls prey to the government's onerous EPA regulations.  And if you think that that rich millionaire gives a rip, I have a great paying job as a servant for you. The only catch is that you'll have to wait for a few years to get paid, though I can't say exactly when.

Abortion?  Why did God make it so that women have to bear the burden of the gestation phase of sex?  Why, in fact, does there even have to be a gestation phase to sex?  Why can't we just do it with whomever whenever we we want and not be "punished" with babies?  Government can fix that too... for free now.  So have fun you sexy thing you.

Social Justice?  This one will throw you a little if you're not careful.  It pretends to be for the downtrodden among us.  But if you look close, those who advocate the loudest for it don't practice what they preach.  So something else must be going on, right?  So, connect the dots.  Us plebes love a man of the people to administer our grievances.  So what better man of the people than one who promises us plebes that we can live as if we were in Eden again off the backs of the rich... someday.  But be patient please.  It's hard work fighting all those rich and powerful forces (who fill my campaign coffers with money ha ha) and it ain't gonna happen over night.

Meanwhile, those rich people we hate so much--you know, the ones who are living it up off our backs--keep getting richer, and we keep getting poorer.  What's up with that?  Oh, I know, we need to give that "man of the people" a little more power... then he'll fix it for us.  He'll fix it real good.

Homosexual marriage?  Marriage period, Pfft!  But what is a world without love... and sex?  Lots of sex?  Damn the children, we want sex with whomever and whenever... right?  Oh, but there's one more ever: how-ever.  But that "however" introduces a grievance doesn't it?  Shame.  Government to the rescue!  Government can legitimize whatever urges suit your fancy.  That's easy.  Just teach it in the schools and much to our surprise--but not theirs--wha-la!  Suddenly what was once shameful is not.  So, message to you Moms and Dads.  If you put your children into a mad-scientist's petri-dish, don't be surprised if they don't turn out quite like you had expected.  Best connect the dots on that one.

2 comments:

Glenn E. Chatfield said...

Great post! Right on target the whole way. Which is why it gave me some good chuckles.

Dan said...

Thanks Glenn.